Why knowing the concept of the inner child is the road to discovering inner child healing?
Have you ever wondered what causes us to respond in a certain way to specific stimuli? As we get into adulthood, we are forced to be in a controlled environment and to behave to please and to be in sync with the surrounding.
Is this really happen when we get into adulthood or it all starts from childhood?
There would have been hundreds of situations to which we were exposed as children which forms our opinion about everything in a way or two.
Unfortunately not every experience will have a positive impact on our mind and unknowingly the negative impact imprints in the subconscious mind.
Let’s look in detail at how our experience has a say in shaping our opinions.
What causes a wounded inner child?
Imagine a 5-year-old you, wanting to buy so many small little things for yourself and all you got is a no, and parents telling you that can’t afford it right now. As you grow the situations might change but few adult sticks to the thought not being able to afford things at a young age make you still feel incomplete.
Not only these but there are also so many thoughts that cling to people that have been carried from their childhood like,
- I’m not allowed to do what I want
- I must Obey
- World is unforgiving
- I am incapable of doing anything alone
These words, phrases, and experiences limit you and prevent you from functioning in several spheres of your life.
What problems are caused by a hurt inner child?
Responsible for loneliness
Your inner child is feeling lost, which is the cause of your loneliness. He doesn’t have somebody to reassure him that everything will be well or to hug and console him when he is upset.
There are a lot of dogmas that can restrict you from interacting with others at the same time. Things like ‘ world is bad ‘, ‘ I can trust only family’, ‘ I can trust no one‘ etc.,
Relationship issues are frequently the result of a wounded inner child. Consider a couple of occasions when you were upset with your partner.
Situations frequently have a tendency to rip open old scars and bring back childhood memories of times when we didn’t feel valued or were taken seriously.
Reason of Self-hate
“You’re not good enough,” “Get out of my way,” and other similar phrases.
Did you grow up hearing these or other similar phrases?
Your inner kid still recalls them clearly, even if you’ve forgotten about them for a very long time. These kinds of phrases are what still make you feel worthless in today’s society.
Understanding what caused your parents to harm you so deeply and realizing that it was not your fault will help you to overcome your self-hatred.
You will undoubtedly discover for yourself the reason why your inner child goes toward perfectionism if you take the time to think about it.
Punishments for mistakes can be very severe depending on your childhood experiences.
You are more likely to take proactive steps to avoid mistakes as an adult if the penalties are severe.
It spikes fear
In maturity, anxiety can appear in a number of ways.
You are frequently instructed as a child on what you can and cannot accomplish. You hear, “You can’t do that yet!” or “You’re too young for that!” with each step you take.
These statements ingrain themselves in your mind and make sure that even as an adult, you wait for permission and refrain from acting without it.
Additional signs of the wounded inner child
- Unhappiness or annoyance
- Unmet needs trigger strong reactions.
- Tantrums and other immature behavior, such as expressing things out of context
- Expressing frustration that nobody can understand you or that you don’t feel heard
- Expressing your emotions or the source of your annoyance is difficult
- Negative self-esteem
- Especially critical internal voice
- Self-defeating behaviors
- Issues with commitment
- Having trouble communicating your demands or setting boundaries
What does healing your inner child mean?
When you start trying to heal your inner child, you mentally and emotionally travel back to that upsetting experience. From an adult’s perspective, you can know how your inner kid feels. With that, your mature self can begin to sort through the coping strategies you built to shield yourself from additional trauma.
Why it is necessary to accept the wounded inner child?
We cause ourselves greater suffering the more we struggle against ourselves. Self-acceptance does not need you to approve of every aspect of yourself, though.
You can only begin to improve these limits, if you so choose, once you are aware of them. You can self-soothe by allowing yourself to experience your painful feelings; this will help you lessen their intensity.
Your wounded child will get more at ease as long as they feel more noticed, welcomed, and understood.
Things that your inner child needs to hear
- You weren’t to blame for what happened to you.
- You weren’t to blame for how other people treated you.
- You deserve to have your needs met.
- You are not by yourself. I am with you.
- You deserve to be protected.
What to think about when conversing with your inner child
Being sympathetic will help you convince your inner child that they are not to blame for the harm done to them.
Always keep in mind that you are communicating with or writing to a young child and not an adult. Use plain language accordingly.
Most people have underlying issues that can be linked to an injured inner child. You can anticipate that it will take approximately the same amount of time to mend them because they are frequently formed over years.
Have you tried talking to your inner child? If you feel what is there in this article reflects a part of you then write to us at [email protected] Please leave your comments